Bakul oh bakul..

14/4: Woke up with fatique and dreading the evening shift..Irregular contraction while attending majlis kesyukuran of Husb's colleague. I still have another 3 days to go before my maternity leave but could this be THE sign? So went up to PAC and it was 1cm with Brackston Hicks contraction, but our O&G colleague advised us for to go back by tomorrow if we're planning to deliver in KB. So it was 2 days MC and after discussion (considering Husb was post-call), we decided to wait until tomorrow morning and finished up packing our stuff. Ma and adik arrived later that night as they had to de-tour from KL to Ipoh (no Penang trip for them, heheh!)

15/4: There's not enough space in the car boot for this bakul so we had to leave it behind...after all, it's just a bakul..isnt it? Contraction was still irregular and mild.

Arrived home around 3pm. Freshened up and took a nap. After Asar, decided to go to hosp for check-up. I was psyched that i am in labour so went for my so-called last treat of nasi kerabu and ayam percik (even had quick window shopping at Wakaf Che Yeh)..

Again, it was just 2cm with mild contraction so was admitted while waiting for labour. Tossing and turning in the ward, damn bored. No more contraction. d'uh!

16/4: Nothing happened. So requested for discharge and went to MIL's later that evening.

17/4: Nothing happened yet..just lazing around at home and MIL's..feasted on watermelon and kuih-muih

18/4: Decided to go to KB Mall together with adik as they said walking would fasten the labour but boy, I was literally dragging my feet and feeling out of breath after just a few mins inside the mall. So we ended up in Secret Recipe and Burger King..

19/4: ohh, last day before Husb went back for work.."pls pls baby, come out today". In desperate measure, I went for traditional massage with 'bidan kampung'. Dont worry, nothing vigorous over my tummy.

20/4: oh dear, baby was still comfortable inside and Husb left for oncall later that evening..huhuhu, we concluded that the baby wanted to wait for the bakul before coming out to see the world..so much for grand arrival, ey?

21/4: Husb called and informed that instead of tomorrow, he had to stay for another oncall and will only be back on Wednesday which was 2 days post-date..

22/4: I talked the baby off to wait for his dad instead..Thank God he listened this time..

23/4: Due date..Lazed around at home for another round of watermelon feast..

24/4: Went for check up at TMC clinic..CTG was reactive but AFI showed oligohydraminos (reduced liquor) so I had to be induced tomorrow. Called husband to inform and he was on the way back.

25/5: Husb arrived at MIL around 12am together with the bakul and I woke up at 1.20am with show and strong contraction.

So, this is it..

40 weeks and 2 days

Eid 2012: 6 weeks pregnant

It was 3 months after the miscarriage, sooner than i expected but of course warmly and humbly welcomed by both of us. The bell rang when i became forgetful (pregnancy fog brain!) and had severe headache for 2 consecutive days. The first UPT was very faint, in fact i thought it was merely false positive (just 3 days late, d'uh!) The 2nd one was a little bit more convincing but still, it could be false positive.  The 3rd was done more thoroughly with another kit for placebo comparison..hehe, all those kits were courtesy of Secondary Triage (pls dont tell my boss, ok;))

I broke the news to your Abi just 2 days before Eid..then to the rest of the family members. Cik Da and Cik Ha were getting curious when your Abi stopped me from jumping around when we all gathered at Tokma's...So, it was a joyous Eid for both of us because of your presence and the first time celebrated together as we were at work the year earlier...

Week 6: Auntie Zila was pregnant as well, yay alhamdulillah. Ok, her EDD was just a day earlier than mine.LOL. At work, I could function as usual but i still had to settle for Ranitidine/Maxalon/ drip during one morning shift.

Week 7:  Went to Kulim and had family day out with Cik Ha's at AEON Derga and enjoyed Nandos.

Herbalife shakes really helps with morning kick off and Herbalife peach teamix with aloe concentrate saved most of the days from morning sickness. I was really grateful for the change from previous experience. The first scan on 4/9/2012 at PAC and later on went to register 'kad merah' at KK Jitra

Week 8: I had to go for my 1st antenatal check up alone as your Abi had to work..and yes, i sulked for 2 days for that reason. The truth is, i was having de-javu from my previous loss =( Good news was my energy level still good despite mild morning sickness, even my colleagues made noticed it.

Week 9-11: I did my own weekly ultrasound in the greenzone consultation just to make sure there's heart beart. Paranoid much , huh..

Week 12: Rainbow Nite

 Week 11: Tokma, Tokbah and Cikda drove up to Kulim and we had fun with them, trying out Cikda's kebaboomm.
Tagged along Abi to Anaesthetic's Rainbow Nite...ok, i seriously considering putting up 'I am not fat but pregnant' over my tiny baby bump that showed off with the dress.


Week 12: Our first road trip with you to KL for CikDa's graduation.it was great family time again...managed to meet up with Uncle Brahem and Auntie Fizah over yummy-exotic Middle East cuisine.. The day we return back, we attended our next ANC-could see your heart beat and tiny movement now..

Week 13: The next day i had bleeding but thank God, i didnt panic. I even thought of keeping mum and waited for increasing amount or abdominal pain but senior MO urged to go for check up at PAC. True enough, it was threatened abortion. Offered 2 weeks MC by O&G colleague but I thought  1 week would do, hehe (baiikkk je kan?) . And oh boy, how sleepyhead i became and bedtime became as early as 9pm..

Week 14: Now let's say Hello to Bio Oil  (stretchmark alert!) I hadn't noticed any actually but strongly believed that prevention is always better than cure. The only complaints were heartburn and bloatedness

Week 15: another self-ultrasound with Auntie Fid, could see your hand resting on your cheek. You're so active inside! By now, i swear by Herbalife shakes and Aloe Concentrate to help with my indigestion

Week16: Auntie Liyana's wedding (and funnily enough, the bride is not in the picture)

Week 16: Bigger (and more noticeable) bump with accompanying pelvic pain. Made a trip to KL to attend Auntie Liyana's birthday. Then a quick stop at IKEA and shopping for maternity pants..

Week 17: Toodles morning sickness (yey..!). Another round of ANC scan together with your Abi went well. Now, it's craving for durian..heheh..could easily eat a few in a go...

Week 18: Herbalife's  event in Bukit Gambang

Week 18:  Was it someone just passing gas from inside??! hehe..Another road trip to Kuantan for Herbalife's Changing People's Lives at Bukit Gambang Resort. That marked my 6th years with Herbalife. The next day we were joined by Tokma, Tokbah and CikDa..paid visit to Tokbah's friend and stayed overnight at our relative's..

Week 19: ok, quickening dated 28/11/2012..a tiny knock from inside telling me about your existence..cute!

Week 20: Went for detail scan and was given a chance to see you via 3D...you're comfortably resting on your 'bestfriend' (placenta). Alhamdulillah, the report from the detail scan didnt show anything to worry about. Celebrated our 2nd anniversary, 031210...a simple dinner of Chinese cuisine at Holiday Villa Hotel. 

Week 21: Our first balik kampung since Eid ..food fiesta as usual and received a few jubah from Tokma to fit this expanding waistline...

Week 24: Home..

Week 22: Family visit from Tokma, Tokbah and Cikda..I was busy running errand. We also decided to buy a house which was 3 units away from our current rented house.Alhamdulillah, it was a good decision for i love the neighbourhood, the spacious frontyard and its closeness to most facilities..

Week 23: Emergency leave during CNY because your Nenek fell sick. She was admitted to Hosp Machang and later transferred to HRPZ . It was tiring going back and forth to the hosp but as blessing in disguise, more family time with CikHa's ;)

Week 28: Trip balik kampung for solat hajat, both at your Abi's and Ummi's...it was a simple event attended by close family members..went for Burger King's at KB mall, a good substitute to Mc'D.

Week 29: We went for the usual ANC.You now weighed 1kg As always, i would remind my O&G colleague not to bother about your gender because we want it to be a suprise...but 95% of family and friend guessed that you're gonna be a girl!

Week 31: Langkawi Trip

Week 30: Langkawi trip with your Abi, Aunty Zila and Aunty TJ, a long awaited trip for the girls. We were housemates back in Evelyn St, Melb. For 2 days 1 night stay, we went from laksa at the airport( ohh, highly recommended for its great background seaview and treat to the tastebud) to shopping mall to Bamboo restaurant (another highly recommended eating outlet, pls try their blackpepper beef) to Haji Ismail Group. I bought chocs and surveyed for Corelle .

Week 32: KL trip

Week 32: Your Abi was oncall on his birthday so celebration was during our KL trip..it was a full-on schedule, tiring but fun as CikDa joined us most of the days.
 Day 1: Bigbad Wolf (crazy dirt cheap books sale!)  then BubbaGump treat at Sunway.
Day 2: Motherhood Expo at KLCC (i went crazy over cutesie rompers and other stuffs for u ) then Mothercare sale at Midvalley. Later met up with Aunty Peah over Tony Roma's
Day 3: IKEA trip for the new house and The Curve for Paddington's Pancake. Visited your cousin, Hannah Khadeeja later of the day and stopped over at Kakcik's crib. That night we went to Auntie Effie's wedding at Dewan Perdana Felda. A fun reunion with my Monash frens.
Day 4: spent time with Ayah Ngah's family then wedding of Auntie Ajla so another Monash reunion..met up Auntie Zarin who's carrying a baby boy with EDD 1 month later than us.

Week 33: Another round of ANC. You weighed 2.45, a spurt of almost 1.5kg within a month's period *gasp* must've been the food feast during KL trip, hehe..

 

Week 34-37: Waiting game. Filled in the time with laundry and reading books, also last mins online shopping for the feeding equipments and baby book. Your clothes basket and bassinet also ready to be picked up, they're actually hands-down from Abang Aqil.

Week 38: Last ANC check up. You weight remained static 2.6kg..A bit of worry but other parameters were normal. So its still good to go for normal delivery.

Week 40: Herbalife throughout pregnancy, Alhamdulillahh

Week 39: Home for delivery.

The day I lost you

03042012: 16th weeks

I walked up the antenatal clinic all excited to see you again. During our last check-up 3 weeks ago, i had little concern about my blood test so i thought i'll discuss about it with my O&G colleague (your abah's goodfriend) today.

After a small chat, it's time for ultrasound again.

 But where's your heartbeat? Why you seemed all crumpled inside?

My O&G colleague said we should do Doppler's ultrasound for better view but deep inside, i knew. 

I've lost you. 

No sign of abdominal pain or bleeding.

My heart crushed into pieces. I cried my heart out in your father's arms..A strong tuck at my heartstrings. The very first time i saw your abah shed tears.

It was missed miscarriage. We were then counselled by the fetomaternal specialist about the option of medical evacuation and the things we need to do for the next pregnancy. The only thing i asked him was the possibility of my previous illness or the blood test being the cause of my miscarriage; he said no. We were then given an open admission whenever we felt ready for the procedure.

We went home and grieved. Your abah hold me tight and kept me calm while breaking the news to your Tokma. Later, calls and sms flooded in from family and friends. In the evening, we spent the night at your CikHa's house in Kulim as your abah had to be oncall the next day. 

48 hours of silent tears and late night cry.

05042012: I was admitted for induction of labour. We check in the sick bay(single bedded room with en suite for staff of hosp) around 11pm. Your abah stayed with me for the night.

The next day, medication was put in to induce the labour around 8am. Your abah had to left to run some errand so i was all alone. 12pm after a period of abdominal pain, my water broke.

2nd dose of medication was put in around 2pm.

An hour of contraction pain from 530 to 630pm . Selawat syifa and Surah Maryam from the iphone as your abah went out to pick up Tokma and Tokbah from the bus station who came all the way from Kelantan.

When everyone's in the room together with your Aunty Zila who came to visit, i wanted to go to the loo. Then i felt you coming out. Uncomplicated delivery. Fetus still attached to the placenta sac. 

After the ultrasound, we opted to go home first and came back after a week to do repeat ultrasound and decide on D&C

It's been a week now since you left us but only Allah know when actually your heart last beat.

You're put to rest very close to your greatgrandfather's, fondly called as Tok ayah by us.

I took comfort knowing that you're in better place, waiting for us. So we need to become better Muslim to see you again. 

Rest now, my baby. 

The day of flashback

It's 10 weeks plus already and you've been a lot kinder to mama...Even with supersensitive sense of smell, I can slowly enjoy meal with pinched nose...it looks terrible but I can bear with it..Dates and fresh fruits with milk are still my bestfriend until late evening before I can try out other food..

Here's down the memory lane of early days before I found out about you. In December last year, we moved in to our current rented house and shortly after our 1st anniversary, I had my last menses. Then in early January, I noticed of unsightful muffin top whenever I wear my pants. I waited for it to go away but it didnt.. Then i hop onto the weighing scale and there goes the panic button!!
- I became more compliance with my Herbalife shakes (still consuming it for daily nutritional)and tried to make it twice a day..
 -Sign up for aerobic class (after a long procrastination) twice a week
 -Promised myself to STAY AWAY from iced drink for a year (oldfolk's tales..gah!!)
-I even bought "Losyen Pati Halia' in my desperate attempt to get rid of the love handles.. ..

yes, your mama is self-proclaimed body conscious ( and I can see your abah nodding gleefully:p) But none of those works, the bulge remained and I have to calm myself down by saying that maybe it takes time because of age..

Then comes this senile episodes
 1-Locked myself inside the house because i left the house key in the car and your abah was away for his oncall
 2-Make a u-turn on my way home the very same day after morning shift because I forgot to return the triage laptop to the in-charge officer 
3-Left some of the purchases at pasar malam while waiting for som-tam...
4-Forgot my password for Bank Islam's online thus getting the account blocked...ggrrr!

 Your Aunty Im already mentioned of UPT (urine pregnancy test) when I rambled about this in facebook but I thought it's a bit tooo soon..

 I was quite preoccupied with my body change that I eagerly waited for my next menses, wishing it will bring away the extra kg's away..but after a week of expected date, no sign of it yet..So I flipped through my 2011'a organiser, the latest would've been 3 to 4 days delay..

 Now, the bell is ringing out loud..still I thought I should wait a little longer and continued with my aerobic exercise...huhuhu

 But curiousity kills the cat, instead of waiting for another week as promised with your abah(to make it 6 weeks POA), I slipped in the UPT kit from emergency department into my bag on that Friday and waited until night to check it out...so tadaaaaa, it's two lines..alhamdulillahh!

The day of love and care..

Kid, when you grow up dont forget to say thank u to your abah for feeding us well while you're in my womb.. Today he rushed from his badminton games to come home and prepare porridge for my night shift.. Ok, i helped out with fruit salad but he did the final touch as well.. Oh it is soo yummy, i almost finish up the whole bowl last night..Hopefully you wont make me asking for some rare delicacies from your abah.. Be nice ok? Hehe..

The day of 1st ultrasound..

Yesterday i got to see u for the 1st time.. Oh, you're for real!! Sorry my darling but up until this point, i still have some para-delusional thought that i am just being sick with bulging tummy...but when i see 'you' on the screen, then i know i am indeed pregnant.. Hehe, your abah was excited to see 'you' too.. Seeing your tiny heartbeat was beyond words...insya Allah we will see each other in September;)

The day of grandparents..

Tokma and tokbah teared up when mama and abah broke the news..At first they couldnt make a guess when i asked whether they're going for Hajj this year cos i need to be in hometown during that time.. They had this blank face and Tokma thought your abah got to be part of medical team for Hajj.. We couldnt hold the excitement any longer so your abah told them that i am actually 8 weeks pregnant. They expression they had later was priceless. Both were saying prayers of grateful to Allah with tears in their eyes..I went to hug both of them.. Earlier i had difficulty to stay in the kitchen to help with cooking, luckily your abah is around to prepare for breaskfast. I had to find a spot near the door so that i can ventilate, the smell is unbearable for me. Cik ha and family were here as well.. Later tokma had small reunion with her maktab frens... Tokma prepared mee udang and ketupat sotong but i could only enjoy the earlier.. Saying goodbye to seafood for now *sob sob..